Dumplings have been a big part of my life, but I don’t think I realised how central it was to my identity and sense of self until I moved out of my mum’s house this year in preparation for university. Dr Hirini Kaa’s seminar was especially eye-opening in this regard as I realised why I felt out of my depth and homesick at times after moving out, despite my mum only being a thirty-minute drive away.
Growing up, every week, without fail, my mum and I would make dumplings and eat them together. Learning how to make the dough, the filling and how to fold it all together under my mum’s guidance has taught me things about my culture that nothing else can. Much like how the Ngai Tahu continue to catch Titi to preserve their traditions and their identity in a country that is no longer their own, the making of dumplings was central to me holding onto my identity as a Chinese immigrant living in a western country.
Now when I come home to see my mum every week, I always make a point to sit down and make dumplings with her. By doing so, I feel that I am maintaining a connection to my culture.
I can relate a lot to your post. As a Chinese Kiwi, dumplings are one of the only ‘ethnic’ foods I actually know how to prepare and cook. If I cook individually I only have the knowledge of Western recipes – dumplings are always an event that requires the whole family and a couple of hours spent in each other’s company. Dumplings are still a special occasion, or at least an ordeal that happens less frequently as my mother gets older and my older sister and I have less time to help her with the many processes it demands.
I think starting university and moving out is an action that is inevitable, but also requires a lot of courage. It is a time for discovering who you are and finding the balance between the values of your parents and the values you choose for yourself. Your pursuit of what it means to be Chinese as well as a New Zealander is admirable and one I am also searching for answers to. I hope we can all keep making dumplings 🙂
This post is something I can personally identify with except that the tradition of making dumplings in my home wasn’t maintained. After Dr Hirini Kaa’s lecture, it gave me a moment to reflect on traditions that were held in my household and what food practices were maintained. Through your post it made me realise that when I was young I had a similar experience of making dumplings every week, but that slowly stopped as we grew older and my mother grew busier. Although dumpling making was a part of my younger self’s identity, it’s interesting for me to reflect on how I lost one of the connections with the Chinese side of myself. I no longer see dumpling making a big part of my life in the present but after reading your post it does make me feel nostalgic and a bit regretful that I wasn’t able to keep the practice of making dumplings a part of me now. Similar to your homesickness being able to drive you to make dumplings, I should use my nostalgia to start practising dumpling making with my family again.
Interesting post! I feel like I have perhaps the opposite experience, however.
I’m part Pākehā and part Jamaican, my pākehā mother and my Jamaican father split up very early in my life and as a result, I really have no relation to my Carribean culinary heritage. When I make the trip back to London to see my father’s side of the family, I often get to join in the lovely family gatherings my grandmother puts on. Everything always feels alright for a while, like I was never gone, there’s no animosity between my family and me at all. There is one problem:
I was raised white.
Whatever my grandmother cooks, she always makes a separate pot of it for me and the young, young members of the family who can’t handle the more intense spices that go into the typical Jamaican meal.
I feel bad that I have to have separate food prepared for me, but more than that I sometimes feel like my lack of tolerance for spices somehow makes me a ‘fake’ member of the family. Of course I know this isn’t true, but I can’t help feeling it.
I’m not entirely sure how to wrap this up, but I just found it interesting how while food is a symbol of inclusion, it can also unintentionally feel like it’s excluding those who might not be used to the culture surrounding it. I’m sure I’m not the only mixed-race kid who feels this way, so I wonder how many of us there really are?
Your post is so interesting to me, because I personally feel that I lack connection to a rich culture. I do not have food stories that stem from the culture of my family. I agree that Dr Kaa’s Lecture was particularly interesting because it identified the value of food traditions and the way these maintain and cultural identity. The fact that you have been able to make a choice to visit your Mum and maintain your connection to your culture is admirable. While my home traditions do not identify a particular cultural heritage, I hope that I can continue to experience the little practices and traditions that my home life holds and continue these into the future.