Being a women (as I’m sure we can all agree) is hard enough as it is. Now, with growing globalisation and ‘modernity’, we get to grapple with the conflicts of living our lives and other women living theirs. Of course, there is no one way to live life but trying to determine how to live as a feminist and uplift women around you gets increasingly difficult when culture prevents women from living as a feminist in the same way.
Dr Madhavi Manchi gave this point in her lecture, ‘is it right for me to impose my idea of empowerment because it seems more empowering to me?’. This really stuck with me. I already had to remind myself to stop judging women/female presenting people every now and then as I catch myself internally questioning fashion choices. In my head I hear my mother’s voice saying that a skirt is too short or that there is too much cleavage in that top. This engrained misogyny has caused me to lead a rather covered (and sweaty) life in summer. Before I figured out what I was comfortable with, I was terrified of being seen in something “sexual” or “inappropriate”, even though it was nearly 30 degrees and I was essentially a waterfall of sweat.
The point of my rather clumsy analogy is that I was living my life in a way that some women would have considered feminist and empowering; by covering myself I was in charge of who could or could not see parts of my body. Now, I understand that there is more than one way to take charge of my body and life and I’ve found a happy medium (which still terrifies my mother, but I have a red mullet, so really that is not her primary concern). It is not my business what others do in the same way that it is not my concern what others wear. Living as a woman is difficult enough without the added pressure of conforming to every individuals’ ideals of how you should live (especially for the benefit of, dare I say it, men.)
In conclusion: I resent the pressure women face every day to simultaneously be the Virgin Mary and Jezebel and, in my perfect world, women would all be allowed to wear and do what they wanted.
Love this post Storm and it definitely covers some of the stuff that I have been grappling with as I find myself facing returning home in a couple weeks, particularly with fashion changes! I’ve always been really conscious of how I presented my body because, as one of the first girls at my school to go through puberty, I got a lot of comments from the boys, and even some of the girls. It’s taken me a really long time to drown out that voice in the back of my head that critics what I and other women wear. I look forward to the day when young girls are taught to love their bodies and live in that perfect world you described!
*JFK from Clone High voice* I AGREE! A really nicely written post, I loved the link to the positionality lecture, and I think the discussion of the different species of feminism is really interesting. I for one also like terrifying my mother – perhaps I should get that nose ring…
This 100%! Such a good post. It’s something you see a lot, especially with Western feminism, where sometimes only certain types of womanhood are deemed ‘progressive’. I think you really wonderfully point out that just *existing* as a women who is happy and has agency is enough, and what we should all be aiming for really.